the hope [& anxiety] of tomorrow

I just realized that I never posted about last week's doctor visit, and that is kind of REALLY important!

One week ago, Mom, John (my stepdad), and I went to see cute, bubbly, blonde, pink from head-to-toe, Dr. Parnell. After sitting in the waiting room with the TV blaring something awful on the news, we were ushered back to a room. The anticipation was killing me. My stomach had been in knots all day leading up to this appointment because it was THE Appointment in which all test results were to be discussed. My "please be benign" prayer had become a rhythmic chant in my spirit.

Enter Dr. Parnell at 4:19 PM, 8 hours after my early-morning wake-up, 3 hours after the knots in my stomach had a chokehold on me, and 1 hour after feeling like I was going to regurgitate my pounding heart. The results were apparently just as new to Dr. P as they were going to be to us, because she kept saying, "Oh, this is good... This is great... Oh good," as she perused them.

I wanted to jump out of my chair and say, "Can we please join in on the party, girlfriend?! I'm dying over here!" Instead, I cleared my throat, smiled at Mom, and remained quietly seated.

When Dr. P realized that she was in the same room as us again, she told us that the MRI showed that there were no other tumors other than the ones we already knew about in Mom's left breast, meaning none in her other breast or lymph nodes. Thank You, Lord! :) I heard Mom, John, and I all sigh a huge sigh of relief simultaneously. Then, we talked about surgery, medicine, chemo, and all that jazz. To keep it simple and in "layman's terms," here's the deal...

Tomorrow's surgery is a mastectomy to remove Mom's left breast. In about 6 weeks, Mom will begin chemotherapy, even though the cancerous tumors will be removed. Dr. P said that there are a few reasons to undergo chemotherapy, but the main one in Mom's case is the fact that the one tumor is just so large. So, based on size alone, chemo is necessary. Also, she will take medication for the next 5 years! Crazy, right? It's called tamoxifen. It's kind of a fun word to say, and if it makes my mom better, I like the sound of it all the more!

So there it is, in everyday lingo for us.

Dr. P said something to the jist of, "It may sound weird, but if you were to choose which kind of breast cancer to have, this is the best case scenario." I know, it sounds a tad insensitive, but if you'd been there when she said it, you would have smiled just as big as Mom and I did. She's our kind of surgeon!

When we left the doctor's office, we got even more of a surprise as my dad pulled up next to us with my sister Amanda in the car with him! My sweet, happy-go-lucky, beautiful, pregnant sister. It was the best gift for Mom. We had a sweet weekend together before they both headed back North with the promise of visiting again in early May. Going into this week wasn't so hard for Mom because of my sister being here, even for just a few days. It makes me cry to even think about how Amanda loves Mom just as much as I do, but she lives a country away. The bond that the three of us have is unbelievable; I feel so blessed to have such strong, Godly women in my life.

All of this to say, tomorrow we are walking into Grand Strand Regional Medical Center with hope, faith in God's grace and healing, and the love and support of so many amazing family members. We are blessed. Even though I am feeling very nervous about the whole thing, I am clinging to some Bible verses that God just keeps bringing to mind tonight. I'll share them with you:

For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.
[Jeremiah 29:11-13]

Be strong, and let your heart take courage, all you who hope in the Lord.
[Psalm 31:24]

Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and earnest pleading, together with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God.
[Philippians 4:6]

Your prayers are appreciated! I will keep you updated in the days to come.

Keeping faith, AJR