New creations... Eventually.

I apologize for not writing for the past month and a half. When I started this blog, my intention was to be more intentional about writing. I feel bad for slacking!

Wow, so much has happened since my last post about Mom coming home. I'll just start where we left off in our journey, and bring you up to current times... Sound good? Let's gooo!

A few weeks after being home, I took Mom to the oncology center. It was The Day... the day when we would find out if Mom's scans came back showing more cancer in other places, or came back clean. I felt so sick; I thought I was going to puke all over if I opened my mouth, so I didn't say much as I drove. Mom was quiet too. I knew she had to feel sick if I felt the way I did. It seemed selfish for me to feel that nauseated, so I waited a few days to tell her how I was really feeling in those moments.

Well, anyone who has even been to even just a family practice for a cold knows that you have to wait the day away to even catch a glimpse of a doctor, meanwhile picking up everyone else's sickness while waiting. Things are no different for cancer patients, even though they should be! These poor souls have to sit in a cold office and wait for crucial results, and these doctors still take their sweet, sweet time.
Makes no sense to me.

So we waited.

We heard Dr. Milling walk by a few times in the hall, but he never opened our door. By this time, I was stretched out in the stiff-backed chair, trying to stretch out my stomach muscles and make them less tense. I sat up like a proper lady when he finally made his entrance. There he was- the man with The Answers. Dr. Milling, AKA "Lee." A younger guy with swoopy/floppy, brownish/blonde hair and very big, bulging blue eyes. Sporting flat-front khakis, a blue and white plaid button-up, and brown leather loafers.

He greeted us and then proceeded to recap Mom's whole history like they do with the, "Previously on..." at the beginning of prime time television shows. Just in case we'd missed anything. My thoughts were, Thanks a heap for the recap, Lee. Let's get this show on the road because I'm gonna need a straight jacket if you don't move things along any time soon! But his brain is like an encyclopedia, and you can just see the pages turning as he just spouts medical knowledge rapidly yet conversationally at you all at once. It's like he just can't help himself because he is that intelligent.

When we had made it to present-day in his recap, he finally said, "So your scans show that you have no active cancer cells anywhere else in your body."
I had to replay that statement over in my mind a few times before the meaning of it truly set in. I caught most of what he said after that, but I was too busy thanking Jesus to hear everything.


Even though her scans were clean, "curative chemotherapy" was prescribed, which means that this chemo will prevent and help keep cancer at bay, which would be ideal! However, that does not make it any less painful or sickening than any other type of chemo.

In fact, it was terrible.

I mean, I cannot speak from experience as I was not the one who took it, but I can speak from the experience of the hours following Mom's first treatment, which was two weeks ago. What I really wanted to do was just take on her nausea and frustrations for her. That's really what I have been thinking through this whole thing: I want to alleviate this dreadful physical, emotional, and spiritual pain. It's a battle. It sucks. It takes time to get better, only to go through it all over again.

So, tomorrow is round 2 of 4 in this first batch of treatments. She goes in every two weeks for "A" and "C." They are both long and fancy-sounding drugs, but it is easier to call them A and C. Plus, Doc Milling does, and he always sounds smart, so I'll follow his lead. A and C are the bullies. They are the strong meds that cause hair loss, nausea, drowsiness, and just all-around cruddiness. They're really, really invasive and impolite. I hate them. When Mom has finally mocked them and made them run home crying in a few more weeks, it is "T"'s turn to invade. This med is not as mean, according to our Main Man Milling. This will be administered once a week for three months, putting the series finale of this drama to air some time in mid-September.

The good news is that Mom has not lost her hair yet. She was told that it would begin to go after the first week and a half, and like I said, we are already 2 weeks in past the first round of treatments. My prayer is that she will not lose it, or at least if she does, she won't lose it completely. I am still considering cutting mine really short if she does lose hers... we'll see. Would anyone else be willing to chop their locks off too? Might be kinda fun... ;)

So there ya go. Today we are making it. Some days are more triumphant than others, but who doesn't feel that way? Mom is strong-willed and grounded in her faith.

Pray that she continues to remain strong in Jesus' strength alone. I need that prayer for my own life too.

Lord, we need Your strength. We love You. Please continue to make a way for my mom in this challenging time. We know You have a plan and purpose for all of this. Let us not lose sight of that glorious thought. 

"I may be weak, but Your spirit is strong in me. My flesh may fail, but my God You never will. Give me faith to trust what you say. That You're good, and Your love is great. I'm broken inside, I give You my life." - Elevation Worship, "Give Me Faith"